”Porn is everywhere,” Catherine said while inspecting her makeup in the rearview mirror, ”You just have to look for it. I can find porn in even the most mundane parts of everyday life.”
It’s Karl Majak. For the last few years, I’ve been lucky to call Catherine my friend and mentor. When she invited me to Belfast for the weekend, I knew I’d get some good material from her.
But to call the following piece ”good” doesn’t really feel fitting. Rather, it’s an insight into the porn-riddled mind of a self-confessed pervert who sees the warped side of life at every turn.
I was eager to see what Catherine meant when she said, ”Porn is everywhere,” and she invited me on a day out around Belfast, where she would point out any and all Goon Triggers.
Most importantly, she would explain why. Now, prepare to enter the perverse mind of a Goonette who lives, sleeps, eats, and breathes porn.
Table of Contents
Her Goon Triggers Began With Bimbo Women Picking Up Dogshit
”Ah, fuck me! Look at that!” Cath said with her perverse eyes suddenly ablaze as her fingers slowly reached for her clit before mildly controlling herself after realizing she was in public.
We’d been in the car for a few minutes and had stopped in traffic next to a Belfast park; a few meters from us was a classic Bimbo doll who looked like she’d been to Turkey for the works.
Fake tits, veneered teeth, an artificial tan, and the kind of heels that were fighting a losing battle to boost her tiny height.
”Watching men willingly suffer for high mileage cunts makes me want to fuck right now!”
She was bent over with one of her manicured hands wrapped in a small black bag, reluctantly picking up the dogshit left by the expensive designer dog she had on a bright pink lead.
”I know it’s fucked up,” Catherine smirked, ”But seeing women clean shit off the floor like that makes my cunt all soppy. I mean, she only has that dog to finish off the Bimbo vibe, and if she’ll pick up dogshit for it, what else will she do? Do you know what I mean?”
As much as I hated to admit it, I did know what she meant. After all, I’d Gooned my fair share and felt my mind being corrupted on the same path as Catherine’s.
Men Standing for Pregnant Women on the Bus
After a light bit of shopping, Catherine drove me back to her place. ”I’m late for my Gooning session,” she told me, ”so let’s get a fuckin’ move on!”
Catherine has an alarm system on her phone that reminds her to regularly Goon to porn. She is no stranger to Gooning in public toilets and the like, but she prefers to rub in her Goon Cave.
Naturally, I joined her, although that’s a story for an entire article on its own. An hour or two later, I watched her get dolled up for a night on the town we had planned.
The bar we had in mind was a fair walk, but a sudden rainshower scuppered our plans and made getting a cab nearly impossible. So, the good ol’ bus it was! And fuck, was it busy!
Grabbing a seat at the back, we had a bird’s eye view of the other passengers onboard. But when a heavily pregnant woman got on, Catherine shuddered and gripped my arm.
”I can’t wait to fill them with porn and set them loose on you. I bet when they’re done with you, you’ll be begging for that Mr Hankey toy. Never bet against the Queen of Whores, you little cunt.”
”Nngghh, watch this!” she whispered, accurately predicting that a man on board would stand up and give his sought-after seat to the pregnant girl, causing Catherine’s thighs to compress.
”Just think about it,” she sneered with deviant intent down my ear, ”the way he submits to a random woman who we all know has spread her legs for a man to spunk inside her. Watching men willingly suffer for high mileage cunts makes me want to fuck right now!”
She did have a point. The woman in question wasn’t exactly the image of motherhood. She was a heavily made-up girl who didn’t even say thank you when she sat down, instead choosing to talk loudly to her friends on the phone.
But while she might have been loud, it didn’t override the heavy breathing I could hear oozing from Catherine’s porn-fuelled mouth. She was getting worse as the day went on, and I loved it!
Drunken Dolled-Up Sluts on a Night Out
”They’re utter filth, you know?” Catherine said whilst nursing her whiskey and coke and staring at a gang of loud, obnoxious, and carefree university students from across the UK and Europe.
”Most of them are from well-to-do families and have their own studio flats rented in town. As soon as they’re away from home, they fuck like rabbits and do all manner of porn-fuelled filth. believe me, I’ve fucked more than enough of them!”
Catherine analyzed each and every detail of these girls’ outfits. From their slutty heels and heavy makeup to their ridiculously short pink dresses that they kept having to yank down to cover what little decency they had left.
”Look at those outfits and tell me that doesn’t look like something a girl on Evil Angel would wear!” She said with her hips gyrating on the leather chair below, ”I bet they watch porn more than they study and wait all week to let their cunts loose on any fuck meat they can find!”
Catherine only watched them for around thirty seconds more before silently rushing to the toilet, and I knew it wasn’t to take a piss. I could smell her lust through her jeans.
Condom and Viagra Machines in Cheap Pubs
You perverse whore, I thought to myself with a grin as I watched Catherine return from the toilet ten minutes later, stopping to dance with the girls and have some banter with them.
The uni students gelled with her instantly, hugging her and laughing at whatever she said. If only they knew the perversions racing through her mind that related to them.
”Sorry I took so long,” Catherine said in a tipsy voice, ”I had to Goon. I also pretended to go into the men’s toilet by accident because it’s always a great way to see some pissing cocks in action, and I get a sneak peek at who is worth pulling!”
But it wasn’t the conventional sight of cocks pouring piss into a urinal that had triggered Catherine this time; it was something else. Something I honestly never would have guessed.
”Another thing that makes me leak in men’s toilets is those sleazy condom and Viagra dispensers on the wall. You never see them in posh pubs, do you? They’re reserved for sleazy gaffs like this, where people are just looking to get drunk and fuck like porn pigs.
Catherine had only just cum a few minutes ago, yet she was already back in a Goon Spiral and clucking for more filth. And she wasn’t the only one. She had my cock leaking at this point!
”How many guys do you ram coins into those machines for some form of protection against the carnage that the fertile uni student cunts gyrating on them on the dance floor can unleash? How many decided to sidestep them altogether and go raw into these wanting holes?”
Never Bet Against the Queen of Whores
The night was drawing to a close. Whoever was going to pull had pulled. Now, it was just the dregs left.
For us, though, the night was far from over, as Cath had a drunken all-night Goon session planned back at hers. We’d bagged an Uber, and it would be there in ten minutes.
”How much do you bet I can pull a girl to come back and watch porn with us all night before the Uber comes? But whoever I pick, you have to fuck her.” Catherine said boldly whilst downing the last of her drink.
”Cath, I have faith in you, but looking around this pub, I’m happy to take that bet. £50?” I said while offering her my hand to shake on it.
”Money doesn’t interest me.” She snapped back with an eye roll, ”I want to see if your ass and throat can handle my new Mr Hankey toy. Don’t watch me, though; you’ll put me off.”
After shaking on it, Catherine slid off from the table and into the pub. I kept my back to her shenanigans and could hear more people leaving through the door; that £50 was in my grasp!
”You owe me a Mr. Hankey up your bum and the £50,” Catherine whispered in my ear as she stealthily approached me from behind. However, she was far from alone.
Flanking her on one side was a seedy, skinny woman in her early sixties with sagging tits, faded tattoos, a Borstal spot, and a look of sexual aggression in her eyes. ”Fuckin’ right; he’ll do!” He slurred.
On the right side was one of the uni students. Overweight but with great tits, her acne-marked face was heavily covered in cheap makeup, and she looked about as trashy as you could get.
”What do you reckon, Sarah?” Catherine asked the overweight girl to the right, ”Are you into him as well? He told me you’ve been catching his eye all night!”
”It’s Kayleigh,” the girl corrected her, ”Erm… yeah, haha! He’s cute. Honestly? I just want some dick?” She covered her mouth and giggled nervously, and it was all Cath needed to hear.
Kayleigh drunkenly linked my arm as we left, and the other woman, who I’d later find out was called Margie, did the same with Catherine. Fuck, we must have looked like one bizarre crew leaving this pub. If only I knew what the night still had in store.
”These girls look fuckin’ rotten, don’t they?” Catherine snarled in my ear as we headed to the taxi. ”I can’t wait to fill them with porn and set them loose on you. I bet when they’re done with you, you’ll be begging for that Mr Hankey toy. Never bet against the Queen of Whores, you little cunt.”
Hey hey
Is the fee only for a month or it is automatically extended every month?
Ist kündigen einfach so möglich?
It’s a monthly fee that renews every thirty days, or you can pay for a month and cancel.
Much love,
Catherine x
Love it! I’m not surprised at all that Catherine would be turned on by those sleazy condom and Viagra dispensers in a dive bar. There’s something so perverse about seeing these in public. But the impressive thing is that she knows about them, meaning she’s of course been inside many a men’s room!