Enough is not enough, at least not for me. I’m one of those people who are never satisfied with what they have. I always want to take something I like to the next level, to have more, to spice it up, to be that person who says I’ve done that, have you? If you haven’t – let me show you.
When it comes to breaking sexual boundaries, I’m an expert in giving something new a ‘try’ and then taking it to a kinkier, dirtier, raunchier place. Indeed, that was my reasoning behind the first time I opened a webcam feed at a cam site. I’ve never been shy. The idea of anonymous strangers jerking off at the sight of me playing with myself was something I’d fantasised about for quite a while. I hadn’t done it until recently because I was worried that once I did it, I would get addicted to having an audience. It turns out my worry was justified.
Unlike many cam hosts, I didn’t start camming for money. I started camming for my own sexual gratification. I had visited many webcam sites prior, both alone and with partners, as part of our own foreplay and always ended up watching the mistresses in the BDSM cam rooms. While my partner would get turned on as they’d belittle the viewers who’d chat to them, I was more critical. I kept thinking about what I would do differently. What outfit I would wear and how I’d humiliate the men daring to suggest I do something.
“I was getting wet under my leather until, at some point, I peeled off the catsuit and opened my legs so he could see.”
I fantasised about wearing a skin-tight latex dominatrix outfit, brandishing a whip, and looking directly at the webcam feed of a stranger telling him what a pussy he was while I played with myself, knowing he could only look and not touch. It was a fantasy that wouldn’t go away. In fact, it got to the point that I bought a high-quality webcam and even started to think about where I would place the camera and at which angle.
Then at some point, I decided, if not now, when. The camera came out of the box; I rearranged my room, pulled out toys, whips, and cuffs and shimmied into my tightest, sluttiest Dom outfit and started to research which was the best cam site for a BDSM host. I compared the features and options available at several of the top webcam sites and ended up setting up a broadcast at a cam site that I often visited as a viewer. I wanted a site that wasn’t only about fetishes and BDSM but was all-encompassing both in terms of types of live shows and the audience it attracts.
It was not how I fantasised it would be.
Viewers would come in and out of the room demanding I humiliate them, insisting I look at their cam feed and laugh at their dicks. And most would simply tell me to take off my clothes without even so much as a hello or please. After 30 minutes, I switched off the cam, took off the outfit and decided cam sex wasn’t for me. At least that’s what I thought.
A few days later, feeling horny and unsatisfied, I decided to try one more time. This time, instead of being polite to the rude viewers or explaining why I wouldn’t do what they demanded, I decided to let the real mistress inside of me come out and play.
The first time a viewer told me to strip off, I snapped back and told him he should shut up and put his prick away because no one was interested. Suddenly he apologised, called me “mistress”, and asked what he could do for forgiveness. I told him to crouch on all fours and lick his screen where my boots were. And then, suddenly, I was informed he had tipped me a few tokens. Not only him but a couple of other viewers in the room had as well. From then on, I knew the only way I could really give a great BDSM cam show and get turned on myself was to really be true to how I was feeling.
The first time I went into a private show, I asked the guy to open his cam feed as I wanted to see his reaction to my commands. Seeing this guy getting hard and pre-cum oozing out every time I told him what I wanted him to do was a massive kick for me. I was getting wet under my leather until, at some point, I peeled off the catsuit and opened my legs so he could see. It was a two-way sex fest. At that point, he exploded, and a few seconds later, I joined him.
Today camming is something I do just when the mood strikes me. I don’t have a regular schedule. It’s a way for me to explore my darkest BDSM side, something I can’t do with many partners, and even if I can, it takes a while before we get to the kinky level that I can do straight away with an anonymous webcam partner.
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