Why am I doing this? I thought to myself as I buried my tongue deep in the ass of a woman old enough to be my mom, holding onto her ass cheeks for dear life as she thrashed around in the wake of my rimming talents.
Then, as I looked up at her labia-flanked face, I saw her eyes roll before a gush of squirt oozed down onto my tongue. Sliding up her sex-sweat-drenched body, I buried my tongue down her throat to share the taste of her freshly-rimmed asshole together.
It was then that I realized ass-eating would become a potent aspect of my slutty sex life. Hell, I’m also not alone. While it was once inherently taboo and a stronghold of the gay community, rimming has blossomed in recent years with a broad range of folks across the sexual spectrum now eating ass.
”At this stage of the rimjob, if you’ve followed all of the steps in this ass-eating guide, I can pretty much picture how wet, sleazy, and spit-drenched that asshole is.”
From freshly-fucked assholes of whores and dominant men to submissive sissies who’ve just been anally creampied, I’ve rimmed my way through them all and been sexually rewarded for it in turn.
Today, in this notorious guide to rimming like a professional, I will teach you how to eat ass, whether it’s a girl, a guy, or anything else with an asshole, and ensure they become hooked on your sordid tongue.
Table of Contents
Choose the Right Position for Eating Asshole
As with any sexual right of passage, the right position for analingus plays a vital role, and it’s down to you to decide which one works best for you.
Plenty of folks think the only way to eat ass is with their lover lying down while they get to work between their cheeks, but that’s not the case. Now, let me outline three of my favorite positions.
- The Ear Muff – If you’re a fan of sensory deprivation, this is a gem position for analingus. It sees the recipient lying on their side and the giver positioned between their legs with the thighs acting as ear muffs. All they’ll hear is the sloppy sounds of ass eating and the moans coming from the lucky fucker getting their hole lapped at. It’s awesome!
- The Reverse Analingus Position – There are a few ways you can do this position, both in doggy style and standing, but it lets your lover get deep into your asshole. My favorite is getting on all fours, as I can easily wrap my legs around the rimmer’s head or, better yet, reach back with my hand and keep them there.
- Ass-Eating in Missionary – And then there’s the classic missionary position where your partner lays down and lets you get to work on their cornhole. However, I’d suggest putting a thick pillow under their ass if you’re doing this in bed, as elevating the asshole lets you get much better access to it.
‘’Make Eye Contact While You Eat My Ass!’’
Let’s begin with one of the most crucial parts of a rimjob; eye contact. Let’s be honest; there isn’t all that much to look at when you’re in the depths of someone’s butt, so the only way for your eyes to go is up.
There are few things that make my slit throb more than staring deep into the eyes of a lover as they lay back and let me get to work. From their point of view, they can just see my eyes flanked by their ballsack or labia as I moan and go into a sexual frenzy, and it drives them wild.
For me, I get to look up at their orgasmic face while getting a close-up of their fuck meat between their legs. Every flick or twirl of my tongue gets a real-time reaction, and it’s utterly fuckin’ perverted to form such a visual connection over something so sordid.
Massage the Buttcheeks as You Eat Your Lover’s Ass
Another fruitful trick I like to deploy is by slapping baby oil on my lover’s asscheeks and gently massaging them as I go to town on their butt.
Not only does it feel immense for me as those smooth asscheeks caress my tongue, but the same goes for them as it intensifies the sensations of my oral talents in their hole.
Plus, making those cheeks all nice, supple, and relaxed is only going to intensify any reluctant orgasms even further, making your lover’s toes curl extra hard!
Eating Ass Should Be Done From the Tip to the Hole
A silly mistake I see so many ass-eaters make is by focusing solely on the asshole and not spicing things up throughout.
To do the latter, I like to go from the tip to the whole. Now, let me show you what I mean depending on whether you’re tonguing a guy or a girl.
- When eating her ass, don’t forget the clit. Run your tongue from her butthole, over her quivering cunt, and all the way to her clit. When you get there, give it a delicate suck before dropping back down towards her bowels and sucking on her ringpiece. Trust me; whatever whore whose ass you have in your hands won’t know what hit her.
- Whenever you’re eating his ass, don’t neglect his fuck meat sitting above. Most men adore it when you trail your tongue from the tip of their cock all the way down to their butthole, and it’s a rollercoaster of pleasure that will have their toes curling and their dicks oozing pre-cum.
Of course, most of the time, you’ll find your hands free when you’re eating ass. So why not put them to work on the clit or cock sitting above? Rub her clit or stroke his cock while you cornhole, and the moans will be like music to your ears. Otherwise, there’s something else you can do with your hands.
Moan Into the Asshole
An artificial vibrator in your asshole feels lovely, sure, but why does everything have to be artificial these days? Hell, we get enough artificial shit in our food, right?
That’s why I love to make my own makeshift vibrator whenever I eat ass, and I do so by moaning loudly into my lover’s asshole. This never fails to get the party started!
”It’s time to slide up towards your partner and bury that well-used tongue deep down their throat. Trust me, a post-rimjob kiss really sorts the normies out from the kinksters!”
The feeling of my slutty vocals echoing off their sphincter and oozing deep into their bowels is the kind of thing that drives people wild, and it gets the sexual juices flowing with ease.
The question is, which one of you can moan the loudest?
A Cornerstone of Analingus is Fucking It With Your Tongue
There are eight muscles in the human tongue, and this thing is no fuckin’ joke when it’s used correctly. Merely lapping at an asshole during analingus just isn’t going to cut it, so it’s time to fuck!
Once I’ve stretched that ass out properly and have a nice little gape going, it’s time for me to deploy my tongue deep inside. Jerking my head back and forward, I physically fuck the hole with my sloppy tongue, causing my lover to squeal like a pig!
I always pretend there’s buried treasure in any ass I’m licking, and I strive to stretch my tongue deep enough to reach it. And just when they’re on the cusp of orgasm, I’ll bring it to a swift end and switch to one of my other favorite ass-eating techniques: the stretch and twirl.
The Stretch and Twirl
Now that you’ve already massaged those buttcheeks deep, it’s time to change the game and get rough with them.
In the stretch and twirl, I gently pull those buttcheeks aside to get that spit-drenched asshole nice and wet. Then, I bury my tongue in it.
Rather than probing deep like in the last technique, this method sees me licking every last inch of my lover’s sphincter, sending shockwaves of pleasure through their already trembling body as they moan my name.
Look, If you don’t have them grabbing you by the hair and holding you in place at this point, you’re doing it wrong. In that case, just repeat all of the previous steps until you get it right. After all, they’re so much fun!
Smear Your Face in the Mess of a Rimjob
At this stage of the rimjob, if you’ve followed all of the steps in this ass-eating guide, I can pretty much picture how wet, sleazy, and spit-drenched that asshole is. Now, it’s time to show how devoted to ass-eating you really are.
While looking eyes with your lover as outlined in step one, allow a look of sleaze to engulf your gaze (although it’s likely there already), and proceed to run your entire face down the genitals crack of their ass until all of that spit and ooze coats your once-pretty face.
The sight of you wallowing in your own filth will send them wild, and you’ll look just as good as the rimming pornstars both of you have no doubt Gooned to so damn hard over the years. Get that pretty face glazed!
Don’t Forget To Talk Dirty and Share the Taste of Your Lover’s Ass
The moaning of you and your partner shouldn’t be the only sounds oozing through the air during an ass-eating session, so too should the perverted tones of rimjob-themed dirty talk!
Of course, dirty talk ideas vary dramatically from situation to situation, but I hope some of my past examples serve as inspiration!
- ”I love being a dirty ass-licking whore. I feel like a fuckin’ sewer rat!”
- ”Does it feel good when I fuck you up the ass with my tongue?”
- ”It tastes so fuckin’ good when your slit juice/pre-cum oozes down into the hole!”
Oh, and when that tongue is done churning out rimming dirty talk? It’s time to slide up towards your partner and bury that well-used tongue deep down their throat. Trust me, a post-rimjob kiss really sorts the normies out from the kinksters!
Ass Eating is Here to Stay
And there you have it, you kinky fuckers. Your roadmap to eating ass like a true porn slut/stud has been provided; it’s now up to you to find a ripe butthole to bury your perverted tongue inside and put everything you’ve learned into practice.
Oh, and as always, keep yourself hydrated when you’re licking ass because all of that slobbering and tonguing can take a lot of liquids out of you. Plus, it’ll keep it all nice and sloppy, just how you like it.
Keen to beef up your portfolio of porn-grade skills even further? A slut like me always has you covered. Check out my guide to sucking cock like a pornstar or my equally wild insight into eating pussy in a way a woman will be hooked on your oral skills!
