I have quite the talent for finding the seediest corners of cities and discovering Gooning hotspots for my fellow Gooners and kinksters to take advantage of.
After my visit to Prague and the resultant Gooning travel guide, many of you have been clucking for more. Well, it’s time to take my slutty hand and lead you into the world of Benidorm sex!
Perched on the stunning coastlines of Spain’s Costa Del Sol is the resort of Benidorm. It’s one that has garnered a reputation for being cheap, tacky, and downright trashy in recent years.
”After an erotic intro, she begins pulling an inhuman array of objects from her steel-like cunt. From ping-pong balls to sausages and working her way up to razor blades, machetes, and a lit lightbulb, the show’s finale saw her open a beer bottle with her twat and pour it out.”
It has a stereotypical image of sunburnt holidaygoers seeking cheap booze, casual encounters, and lots of partying that goes well into the night, both on the streets and in the hotel rooms.
The reality is that Benidorm has something for everyone, from a quaint old town to a notoriously lively strip. I, however, often visit the resort to seek out the sleaziest treats it has to offer.
The Benidorm sex scene is wild! Whether you’re a regular there or going for the first time, I’ll show you everything from live sex shows to porn cinemas!
Table of Contents
El Sofa Porn Theater and Sex Club
Firstly, I want to introduce you to an underrated gem in the heart of Benidorm’s old town. It’s called El Sofa (The Sofa), and while its name might not sound like much, it packs one hell of a sexual punch.
Greeted by a friendly Asian woman at reception who looked like she’d seen some wild things in her career, I was buzzed in and guided through this maze of sexual pleasure.
There are three dedicated cinemas showing straight, gay, and TS porn, multiple Gloryholes, orgy rooms, sex swings, and other places to get your freak on with other porn cinemagoers.
I found the place to be spotlessly clean and well-kept when I went. Well, it wasn’t when I left, but that’s another story. I also found my fellow kinksters to be respectful, clean, and a lot of fun.
It didn’t take long for me to hear the sound of non-artificial moans emanating from the bowels of the cinema, either. In the sex swing, I found the source of the whore-like moans.
A mature Dutch woman was taking a break from the Alicante sun and receiving a long line of anonymous cock while her proud husband pumped his fuck meat nearby and watched.
This insatiable bitch was being pounded mercilessly but still reached out for as much cock as she cock get her hands on as those waiting fondled her big tits.
The Gloryhole cabins dotted around the club are often in full steam. There’s even a fucking wall straight out of a Czech porno and mirrored Gloryholes to watch porn as you suck cock.
Another quirky feature was a voyeur booth where your cock-sucking antics are beamed on a voyeur camera (not recorded, just a feed) to other cinema-goers. Love it!
Overall, it is a must-visit for any sexually liberated kinkster looking to find their feet in the Benidorm sex scene, and the 10 euro entry fee is an absolute bargain!
Things to Know About El Sofa, Benidorm
- It’s located at Calle Costera del Campo, 13, 03501 Benidorm, Alicante, Spain
- The sex cinema is open seven days a week from 1 pm to 19:30
- The entrance fee is 10 euros
- Straight, gay, and bi people are all welcome
The World Infamous Benidorm Sex Show: Sticky Vicky!
And now we come to a Benidorm institution: Sticky Vicky! As I’ve been visiting Benidorm for many years, I was lucky enough to catch the original Sticky Vicky in all her glory.
Actually, I fondly remember my friends taking me for the first time ‘’for a laugh.’’ The show turned me on so much that I had to sneak off to the dingy toilets and rub my cunt to orgasm!
So, what is it? Sticky Vicky is a vaginal magic show that truly has to be seen to be believed. After an erotic intro, she begins pulling an inhuman array of objects from her steel-like cunt.
From ping-pong balls to sausages and working her way up to razor blades, machetes, and a lit lightbulb, the show’s finale saw her open a beer bottle with her twat and pour it out.
Sadly, after performing an average of six shows a night for six days a week, Sticky Vicky recently passed away. However, her daughter still carries the torch, and the show goes on!
The Peek-a-Boo Sex Cinema in Benidorm
Yep! There’s more than one old-school porn cinema in Benidorm! There’s another one called Peek-a-Boo, and I had to go in for a look while I was there.
Compared to El Sofa, this Benidorm sex cinema has a much different vibe. It feels way more old-school and dingy and seems to cater more to a gay crowd. However, it’s still worth a look.
The entrance fee is slightly less than El Sofa, and the owner is a lovely Spanish guy who makes you feel very welcome when you first arrive. There are also some lockers if you need them.
Inside you’ll find three separate cinema areas dedicated to gay, straight, and transsexual porn. There’s also a sex swing, Gloryhole cabins, and a room to fuck in with voyeur windows.
The crowd is a mixed bag. There are some pushy guys mixed with respectful people, and it’s overall a good time with some hard sex on offer if you want it.
But compared to El Sofa, I found the porn way too quiet, the Gloryhole cabins lacked dedicated screens, and it was poorly maintained overall. It’s worth a visit, but I prefer El Sofa.
Important Stuff to Know About Peek-a-Boo Adult Theater, Benidorm
- You can find it at Calle La Parra n: 5, 03501 Benidorm, Alicante, Spain
- It’s open seven days a week from 12:30 pm to 20:00
- The entrance fee is 9 euros
The Star Wars Sex Show at the Red Lion Benidorm
If you didn’t already blow your load over Sticky Vicky, then there’s another live porn show to explore in Benidorm! The live Star Wars sex show at the Red Lion pub.
As funny as it is hot, this show revolves around two talented performers dressed as Star Wars characters fucking each other on Segways, sucking cock in crazy positions, and much more.
The show often baffles tipsy patrons when it kicks off in the late hours, and it’s truly a sight to behold if you’re looking to see some live sex with some quirky sci-fi themes.
The downside? It takes place at The Red Lion pub. I’m not exaggerating when I say that it’s a shithole with lousy staff and patrons alike.
Stay alert here, watch the show, and head elsewhere afterward. Aside from the sex show, it’s not a sound bar to be in Benidorm. Check the TripAdvisor reviews to see what I mean.
Hooking Up With British Sluts in Benidorm is Easy (If You Know Where to Find Them!)
When you’ve watched vaginal magic shows, hung out in porn cinemas, and seen a woman make a lightsaber disappear up her cunt, it’s time for some hard fucking of your own!
One of my favorite hangover cures in Benidorm is opening one of my favorite hookup apps and inviting some hung fucker or a seedy Chav slut over to my room and getting filthy.
The reality is that Benidorm is flooded with loose men and looser women, all of whom are looking for a sticky memory to take home with them. Now, here’s where you go to find them!
- Tinder – A solid bet that you can use for free. But for guys, it can be time-consuming to find girls who are up for straight fucking and who don’t want to date first.
- Adult Friend Finder – Adult Friend Finder is paid, but you get what you pay for. It has lots of members seeking casual sex. It’s a reliable way to find people as horny and eager as you.
- Badoo – This is like Tinder, but I’ve had more luck finding seedier older people here as the layout seems more appealing to the older crowd. It’s not as sleek to navigate, though.
- Ashley Madison – If you like to play in other people’s sandboxes, Ashley Madison is worth a try. This is where married people come to play, and I have lots of luck with it in Benidorm.
Book your own apartment/hotel room, and let the games begin. From seedy UK MILFs with a lot of sexual experience to naughty 19-year-olds looking to learn the ropes, Benidorm has it all!
Benidorm Escorts
If you’re too hungover to try out the tried and tested hookup apps mentioned above and just want your cock polished by a professional slut, there are tonnes of Benidorm escorts on offer.
Whether on the streets surrounding the strip (risky) or hooking up with them through dedicated Spanish escort websites, you can easily find escort opportunities when in Benidorm.
- Street Hookers in Benidorm – When the sun sets on Benidorm, the whores come out! It’s not hard to find hookers from Spain, South America, and Africa prowling the streets looking for cock. However, negotiate in advance, keep your hand on your valuables, and don’t do anything silly. These girls can be dodgy.
- Escort Websites – If you’re looking for Benidorm escorts online, don’t fall into the trap of some third-party website. Instead, use Google Translate and find the places that the Spanish go for paid sex. Gemidos.tv/espana is a tried and tested site, and it’s well worth checking out.
- Erotic Massage Parlors – There’s a tonne of erotic massages in Benidorm, and Asian girls primarily run them. You can identify them by the neon signage in the window, and a happy ending is always guaranteed, as is a good massage on top of it.
The Benidorm Sex Scene is Booming!
Yep, Benidorm is about much more than just sun, booze, and full English breakfasts. This iconic Spanish resort also has a seedy underbelly of sex waiting to be explored.
Now that you know all of the stickiest spots in the Benidorm sex scene, why not get over there and kick-start a Gooning vacation unlike any other? Go on, you deserve it!
Added to my bucket list. Would certainly visit Benidorm💕