They say women are better multitaskers than fellas are, and, fuck, I am good! Still, I’m no octopus. In the middle of a solo goon session when I’m trying to replicate the double penetration carnage on my screen, carry out throat training, vibe my clit into the stratosphere, and huff poppers, I sure as hell wished I had eight arms.
As much as I adore meeting some random sleaze hound through my account on Adult Friend Finder, good cock isn’t always easy to find, and it’s the kind of realization that led to me investing in various sex machines over the years. Still, when I recently got my hands on a Lovense mini sex machine, I never thought a machine smaller than my carry-on could wreck both my porn-hungry holes the way this one did.
Table of Contents
Let Me Get You and the Lovense Mini Sex Machine Introduced!
I bought the Lovense Mini Sex Machine because I needed something light enough to toss in a suitcase and strong enough to keep me drooling through an entire Blacked Raw porn marathon. The box it arrived in was surprisingly small, and the whole sex machine unit weighs just over 3KG.
Two petite legs fold out, a plastic platform holds the toy of your choice, and a Bluetooth motor sits inside a matte white, pink, and black shell. Yeah, the beauty is in its simplicity! There’s no giant frame, no noisy hydraulics, just a compact thrusting unit controlled by the Lovense app.
”The fuck machine orgasm hit without warning, and my thighs slammed shut around the wand, my asshole clenched, and a hot gush sprayed out around the thrusting dildo.”
Thanks to the easy-to-follow Lovense instruction manual, setting this sex machine up took just a few minutes. I clicked a 7-inch realistic dildo into the mount, plugged the power bank into the base, and opened the Lovense app on my phone.
The slider goes from a teasing one-inch pump to a punishing five-inch stroke at up to 260 thrusts per minute. I also paired my cum-smeared phone with a small bottle warmer so the dildo would be body-temperature when it slid in. Yeah, I love that porno realism!
Your goon cave isn’t complete without it. Click here to get your hands on the Lovense Mini Sex Machine, and thank me with every squirt.
What’s it Like to Goon With a Lovense Mini Fuck Machine?
For the goon sesh, I laid a towel across the hotel bed, queued up the Blacked Raw playlist on the TV, and set the Hitachi wand within reach. I already had my little brown bottle of p0ppers on the nightstand.
Wearing naught more than a fishnet body stocking and my well-used pleasers, I spat all over the dildo, straddled the machine in doggy style, and pushed myself back until the head kissed my dripping pussy lips. One tap on the app and the shaft eased inside, slow and steady, letting me feel every vein.
The first few minutes were a warm-up. I kept the stroke shallow and the speed low while I sniffed poppers and watched the on-screen stud stretch some eager starlet. My cunt clenched around the thrusting toy, already dripping.
When the scene cut to a new girl getting nailed by a throbbing big black dick in a piledriver position, I bumped the slider to medium. The machine started punching three inches deep, a wet slap every half-second. My quivering thighs shook, and I reached for the Hitachi, switched it on low, and pressed the bulb against my swollen clit.
That combination of a steady mechanical cock in my cunt and buzzing wand on my clit made my p0ppers drunk eyes roll back. I kept the app open with one hand and used the other to hold the poppers under my nose. Every inhale sent a hot rush down my spine. The motor never skipped a beat, and it just kept driving the dildo in and out of my sordid snatch while I floated in that goon haze, moaning every time the head kissed my cervix.
After twenty minutes, I was ready for round two and wanted this Lovense sex machine to wreak havoc on my dick-hungry asshole. I climbed off, wiped the shaft, and swapped the dildo for a slightly thicker one with a pronounced curve. A quick re-lube via a gobful of spit, and I lined the head up with my asshole.
”I kept the mini sex machine running through it, letting it fuck me straight through the squirt until the towel below me was soaked and my legs were trembling.”
The Lovense mini fuck machine doesn’t care which hole it’s fucking ‘cos the mount is universal. I sank down, feeling the stretch, then hit the Lovense app again. This time I started at a higher speed, and the thrusts came faster and shorter. Fuck me, these were perfect for anal. My throbbing ring clenched and fluttered around the pistoning toy while the Hitachi stayed glued to my clit.
The Blacked Raw marathon rolled on as one sordid 4K porn scene blurred into the next, spanning interracial gangbangs, airtight gangbang filth, QoS whores squirting on thick black cocks.
Of course, I matched the fuck machine’s rhythm to the pounding on screen, edging myself over and over. Every time I got close, I lifted the wand for a few seconds, let the orgasm fade, then dropped it back down, but the Lovense kept going, relentless, never softening or slowing unless I told it to.
About an hour in, I decided to test the top end. I set the stroke to maximum length and cranked the speed slider all the way up. The motor whined, the platform shook, and the dildo hammered my pussy like a jackhammer. I had to grab a couple of heavy water bottles from the mini-fridge and set them on the legs to stop the whole thing from walking across the fuckin’ floor.
Even with the extra weight, the Lovense sex machine rattled somewhat, but it never stopped thrusting. My cunt made filthy wet sounds every time the shaft bottomed out. Spit ran down my chin, and I was cross-eyed, poppers open on the pillow, Hitachi buzzing so hard my clit felt numb.
The fuck machine orgasm hit without warning, and my thighs slammed shut around the wand, my asshole clenched, and a hot gush sprayed out around the thrusting dildo. I kept the mini sex machine running through it, letting it fuck me straight through the squirt until the towel below me was soaked and my legs were trembling. Only then did I slide the speed down to zero and collapse forward, causing the toy to pull itself outta my holes, which were now twitching with aftershocks.
Alright, Here’s What I Loved About the Mini Lovense Sex Machine!
What blew me away is how much power this little unit packs. Just over 3 KG soaking wet, and it still rails like a full-size machine. The stroke is deep, the speed is brutal, and the motor doesn’t overheat even after two solid hours.
Portability is another win here. Like, I reckon I could take this little fucker through airport security in my checked bag with zero issues, and in hotel rooms it’s quiet enough that I’ve never had a noise complaint.
Oh, and the Lovense app is rock-solid, as usual. I can ramp from zero to maximum with a flick of my thumb while my other hand is busy with p0ppers or the wand.
The Lovense mini sex machine’s ability to facilitate hands-free gooning is the real game-changer. Once the machine is locked in, my fingers are free to pinch my erect nipples, scroll through more porn, or hold the poppers bottle steady. I don’t have to thrust or grind ‘cos the motor does all the work while I just exist in that drooling, edged-out goon headspace.
Are There Any Drawbacks?
There are two real drawbacks. First, when you ramp this machine up at top speed, the lightweight legs rattle, and the whole unit starts to get a bit cheeky and wants to migrate across the floor.
I solved this minor issue with small weights or by wedging the legs against the mattress frame, but it’s still something to manage. Second, the platform isn’t sturdy enough for massive toys. I considered mounting an extreme Mr. Hankey dildo to it, but I think the base would tip forward. For average-to-large realistic dildos, though, it’s utterly perfect.
Would I Suggest Getting Your Horny Hands on One?
Fuck yes, I would! Look, here’s the bottom line. If you want a fuck machine that can travel with you if needed, stays discreet, and still pounds both holes like a pornstar stunt cock, the Lovense Mini Sex Machine is insanely good.
P0ppers ready, Hitachi charged, holes empty? All it takes is one click right here, and the Lovense Mini Sex Machine ships tomorrow.
Sure, this petite lil’ machine isn’t gonna replace a $2,000 fuck machine rig, but for the price, size, and performance, it’s the best compact sex machine I’ve ever gotten my squirt-soaked paws on. I’ve already booked the little fucker a permanent spot in my carry-on for every upcoming sex tourism trip. My smut-hungry holes are grateful, my neighbors are none the wiser, and my goon sessions have never been wetter. What more could a whore like me want?
