15 Party Whore Tips For First Time Swingers (Singles & Couples)

If you’ve read my book, you’ll know that I fell in love with the swinging scene after my first visit to a Berlin swingers club. My journey as a swinger party whore was an eventful one, to say the least, and it was one of the best sex scenes I’ve ever got into. But for aspiring first time swingers, I know there is a lot of apprehension about their first experience.

As a now proud party whore veteran of countless sex swapping events, I decided to share some of my wisdom with my dear readers. In the following guide for first time swingers, we’re going to delve into stuff like:

• Tips and advice for couples aiming for their 1st time swingers experience
• How to get the most out of your first swingers party as a single male
• Party whore tips for single females (also known as unicorns) at their first swing club

This guide is divided into first time swingers advice for solo males, couples, and solo females. But some of the advice is universal to all, so don’t hesitate to explore all pieces of advice as they are all worth taking onboard regardless of which type of person you are.

So get ready to be handed some swinging wisdom learnt through the personal trial and error of both me and others. By the end of this article, you’ll be more than ready to get the most enjoyment out of your first-time swingers experience and do it with confidence. Let’s begin!

First time swinger advice for single males

Contrary to popular belief, swingers clubs are not just reserved for couples. Although not universal, many are open to single males. Whether it’s on particular nights or swingers events, it’s not uncommon for guys to attend. However, the entry price is often set higher to keep the male to female ratio even.

Whilst not unwelcome, single males may often find it more difficult than if they were attending as a couple. So to get the most of your first time swinging experience, here are my top five pieces of advice.

Be presentable

This one goes without saying but still needs to be said. Your first-time swinger experience will likely not go well if you don’t make an effort to be presentable. Generally, swingers clubs are often divided into social areas with a bar, play areas, and recreational areas with a pool, sauna, etc.

Whilst you might have visions of stepping foot into an orgy as soon as you’re inside, but the reality is that the night begins with socialising. This is where you converse with other swinging singles and couples, get to know each other, and then, if the match is right, you may be invited to head to the play area.

Just like in any respectable bar or club, you should always be presentable. I’m talking about dressing smart, smelling good, being well-groomed, and overall just looking good. Don’t assume that, just because it’s a swingers club, having a dick will make you desirable. 

Swingers are just like any other people. They need to like what they see before getting intimate. However, whilst you might be naturally good looking, there is one temptress that can trip up a single male at a swingers club. Her name is alcohol.

Don’t get drunk

Many single male swingers are naturally nervous about visiting their first club or meeting their first couple. Will they like you, what will people think of a single guy, will it be awkward as hell? These are common questions that often race through first time swinger’s minds. To calm their nerves, they often rely on Dutch courage.

Don’t get me wrong, nothing gets my pussy hotter in a swingers club than a double JD and coke. But far too often I’ve seen nervous newbies drinking to excess to calm their nerves. By accident, they often find themselves too intoxicated to even converse with other swingers properly. 

But the worst thing of all for swinging guys? If they do manage to get lucky and are invited to play, they often find their pot-valiance has come back to haunt them. Alcohol and hard cocks are not two things that go together. 

No one likes whisky dick, boys. Plus it’s a very nice bonus to have sordid memories of your swinger experience fresh and clear in your head, not blurred by alcohol. So sip slowly, and don’t overdo it!

Get social

Swingers are not sexually ravenous beings who will aggressively sit on your face as soon as you make eye contact. Although, it does depend on how horny I am. By and large, they’re ordinary people with positively open minds towards sex. So don’t be afraid to indulge in one of the most important and rewarding aspects of swinging: socialising! 

Whilst being respectful, don’t be afraid to politely approach other swingers and socialize like you would in a bar or club. Honestly, some of the best conversations I’ve had have been in swing clubs.

Once you’ve mingled and established yourself as a good, non-pushy person who can hold a decent conversation, you may feel a tap on the shoulder as you’re invited to join someone in some swinger fun.

One solid social tip I can give for single males is, when conversing with a couple, is to acknowledge both equally. Don’t just focus on the woman, speak to her partner too. It’s a matter of respect and solely focusing on one half of a couple isn’t viewed as polite. Never make the man feel like he’s not present.

Learn some swinging rules

There is a lot of freedom in the swinging world, but it wouldn’t be a world without some sort of order, would it? Like almost any other sex scene, there are rules. They are there for a reason and should be respected.

For example, if the club you’re going to has an area for couples only, it means that it’s a space for couples to enjoy themselves without single males watching. Don’t lurk around or try to sneak into these areas. It won’t be well received and you’ll likely be asked to leave.

But don’t worry. If you’re voyeuristic and love to watch others having sex, then swingers clubs often have play areas to facilitate this too. There are also plenty of swinging couples who adore single males watching them or even joining in. Just respect the wishes of those who don’t.

Don’t be aggressive or come on to strong

And finally, we get to one of the most important rules for visiting a swingers club as a solo male. Be respectful and don’t come on too strong to other couples or solo swingers. Sadly, I’ve seen too many single guys persisting with disinterested women and pursuing them around a club like a lion with a wounded gazelle. Not cool, guys.

Yes, it’s a sex club. But not everything has to be about sex from the get-go and this doesn’t warrant uninvited touching. If you expect to walk into a club and be able to inappropriately touch other swingers, you’ll rightfully be told to leave. Start a conversation, offer to buy them a drink, as you would in any other club.

Also, don’t feel that you need to kick off a conversation with something related to sex or drop innuendos throughout. For me, hearing this from a guy I just met signals a lack of sexual confidence. Just relax, be yourself, and be unique. 

In summary, a first-time swinger experience single males will be positive and memorable if you follow the following basic principles:

• Be polite and be respectful. Don’t be pushy, don’t be a creep, and understand that no means no.
• View swinging as more than just sex. View it as a learning opportunity and the chance to make new, like-minded friends.
• Be honest about yourself and be an individual, two traits that are widely respected in the swinging community.

First time swinger advice for couples

And now, we move on to the bread and butter of the swinging world: couples. The lifestyle was started by couples and, alongside single women, they face much fewer beginner hurdles than single guys might face. But to get the most out of dipping your toe into the lifestyle, let’s delve into 5 pieces of first time swinger advice for couples.

Take it slow

Being curious about getting into the lifestyle doesn’t mean you need to dive into an orgy tomorrow. You and your partner can discuss it first and slowly ease yourself into the lifestyle. Read stories published by other first time swingers and discuss them with each other.

Perhaps have a cosy night in and indulge in some porn of the swinger sex variety. Play with each other, talk about the porn on-screen, and discuss replicating it for real and seeing how much you’re both comfortable with it.

You can also sign up for swinger websites to talk with like-minded newbies and veteran sex swappers without commitment. As well as getting tips and advice for your first potential meet, you can also network with others and possibly have a friendly face to meet at your first swingers club.

Make sure this is something you both want

On a small handful of occasions, I’ve witnessed new swinging couples demonstrating that it’s clearly only 50% of the relationship who wants this lifestyle. This is not only grim to see, it’s potentially damaging. Before you even think about your first time swingers experience, make sure you both want it.

Having a kink for swinging porn or swinger stories is one thing, but taking it in real life can often lead to jealously in some couples. Discuss what you both want from the experience, what your limits are, and what you would and wouldn’t be comfortable seeing your other half doing.

For example, some swinging couples only do soft swap which is generally limited to just foreplay or heavy petting. Others indulge in full swap which is a lot more open and involves penetrative sex and everything that goes with it.

Some, like myself, also do separate room swinging where they part ways, have as much fun as they want, and return to each other after. It all comes down to personal preference and what you’re both comfortable with. Just make sure it’s clear and mutually agreed upon.

Playing in parallel is good for newcomers

If you’ve made it to your first swingers club and still aren’t sure if you want to dive into a soft swap or just want to stick to socializing for now, then a good in-between is playing in parallel with another couple.

You can either try out your voyeuristic side and watch another couple have sex from the sidelines, mutually agreed of course, or you can join a couple in one of the playrooms and have sex in the same area. This is a great way to dip your toe in the water and test your confidence in sharing your sexual experiences with other people, without going too far.

Use signals

Another common first time swingers mistake is ending up in a situation you might not be comfortable with, but not knowing how to get out of it without being awkward. One tried and tested way is to establish a signal with your partner to have a discreet channel of communication.

Although I largely swing alone, if I’m with a partner I would often assign two signals. One would be for “ok” as in I’m completely enjoying the situation. The other would signal that I wasn’t enjoying it and wanted to stop or I’d had too much and wanted to leave.

Try to maintain the same play level and make sure you’re both having fun

Whilst this is by no means necessary, it’s not a bad suggestion for new swingers to heed. For example, if you are full swapping with other swingers whilst your partner is just socialising, it can lead to unbalance and problems.

As long as you’re both happy with the activities taking place and want to get involved, try to incorporate each other equally. Unless you’re both happy with separate room swapping, cuckolding, or otherwise. In which case, have fun!

In summary, a first time swinger experience for couples will be a positive and memorable one if you follow the following basic principles:

• Ensure you’re both comfortable, on the same page, and happy to try it out.
• Start slow to test your boundaries without committing too much if you’re inexperienced.
• Always have your partner in mind and remember that swinging is meant to be equally enjoyable for both halves of a couple.

First time swinger advice for single women

And last but certainly not least, is my first-time swinger advice for single women. Known as Unicorns in swinger terminology, there are far fewer single gals than couples of solo males on account of being so rare. 

But I started out as a unicorn many years ago and haven’t looked back since. So here’s five pieces of advice for solo ladies I learnt in my early days of swinging prior to becoming a fully-fledged swinger party whore.

Be sure about what you want

When you finally decide to have your first time swinger experience, it’s very important to be absolutely sure about what you want, your goals, and your limits. Do you have sexual fantasies you want to make a reality? Service cocks at a Gloryhole? Be the centre of a swinger gangbang like these girls? Then make sure you know.

For example, as I’ve described in one of the true sex stories in my book, the purpose of my first swinger club visit was to realize my fantasy of being in a bisexual gangbang. Safe to say that I had my kink fulfilled to such an intensity that one female swinger had to put her foot over my pussy to give me a break from the amount of cocks in the room.

In my opinion, going into your first time swinger experience without clear goals may be a mistake. If you struggle to tell other swingers just what you want, they may see you like a bit of a timewaster. Or even worse, you could end up doing something you really don’t enjoy and later regret.

Find the right swingers club

It goes without saying, not all swing clubs were created equally. I’ve been to a handful where I’ve left fifteen minutes after going on. To ensure you stay safe and have an enjoyable swinging experience, be sure to do your research and find the right club.

These days, it’s easy to do. Any respectable swingers club will have a website and an address in Google. Look up the reviews and see if this is the place for you. As a single female, it’s important to find a club that’s well-established, safe and attended by the right kind of people who will have a girl’s back if someone comes on a bit too strong.

Nervous? Find a swinging couple

I’m going to be completely clear, you’re likely going to get quite a bit of positive attention when visiting a swingers club as a single female. For many girls, this can be daunting, especially if you’re shy like me. In the early days of my journey to becoming a party whore, I found a workaround for this by opting to join a swinging couple on my first visit to some swing clubs.

Whether it’s a dedicated swinging site or the forum of a particular swinging club you want to visit, you will find no shortage of couples who would relish the chance to welcome a unicorn to the scene and take you under their wing.

Whilst this can be a great way to initiate yourself in the scene and start networking with swingers, it’s important not to rush into it. Make sure it’s the right couple for you. Perhaps go out for a social drink or meal beforehand to see how you get on.

If you don’t, there’s plenty more sex swapping couples out there to try again. Keep an eye out for any red flags. I a couple is not getting along or it seems only one half is into swinging, then it’s is likely that swinging with that couple will lead to a negative experience.

Try not to be self conscious

I know, girls. Easier said than done, right? We worry a lot more about our appearance than most guys. The idea of being scantily dressed amongst people who are, initially, strangers can be daunting for a self-conscious girl. But trust me when I say that swingers are some of the most accepting, diverse, and non-judgmental people I’ve ever met.

Skinny, curvy, tall, short, tattooed, mature, young, or whatever. I’ve met swingers in all shapes and sizes and have never experienced body shaming or any other similar ridicule throughout my party whore journey. 

So try your best to be comfortable with who you are, be confident in yourself, and you will have a wonderful experience amongst swingers. Whatever you feel self-conscious about, always remember that there’s a lid for every pot, so to speak!

Don’t pretend to be bisexual if you’re not

In my opinion, this is one of the most important pieces of advice for solo ladies when meeting swinging couples. You by no means have to be bisexual to get into swinging as a solo girl, but you need to be clear that you’re not.

The truth is, a straight unicorn may be viewed with slight caution in the eyes of some swinging women. So be clear and honest about your intentions if you intend to play with their man. And of course, always pay equal social attention to the male and female of a couple and not just the half you’re interested in.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen single swinging women make is to bow to pressure and pretend they’re bi in order to move things along. It will soon become clear you’re not and will only result in disappointment for everyone concerned. As I’ve already mentioned, honesty is a must in the lifestyle. So always be true to yourself and others.

In summary, a first time swinger experience for solo females will be a positive and memorable one if you follow the following basic principles:

• Don’t hesitate being taken under the wing of a more experienced swinger couple or female.
• Be true to yourself and be honest about your intentions and desires.
• Be sure about what you want from swinging and never feel pressured into trying things you’re not comfortable with.

A swinging conclusion of a Party Whore

And so we reach the end of my swinging advice. I truly hope you have found some useful information for your first time swinger experience. Each piece of advice was learnt by my own trial, error, and experience from being a shy unicorn with little swinger knowledge to becoming a proud party whore.

In conclusion, never be afraid to push your boundaries in swinging and meet new people. Clubs are only part of the scene, consider exploring swinger conventions, private sex parties, and casual swinger meets via online hookup sites.

But most importantly, wherever you play and whoever you play with, always practise safe sex. Entering the sex swapping lifestyle can be one of the most fun decisions you’ve ever made, but always play safe and responsible.

Whilst I’ve tried to be as comprehensive as possible with this list, feel free to drop a comment below if you have any further swinging questions. I’ll be more than happy to answer them and assist you on your swinging journey.