The Ultimate Guide to Swinger Terminology & Lingo

The Ultimate Guide to Swinger Terminology - 20 Sayings You Should Know

Since I began my journey across Europe, I have been fortunate enough to visit many phenomenal swingers clubs and make many amazing swinger friends. There is often a fear of the unknown when it comes to swingers clubs from how they work, who’s allowed in, etc. Another daunting aspect can be swinger terminology, which is what I’m going to delve into today.

If you’re new to swinging, then this is an article that I highly recommend you to read. Whilst you may associate swinging with relentless sex which, thankfully there is a lot of, there is an awarding social aspect involved. Prior to the debauchery, connections are formed through conversations with other swingers. Naturally, it’s useful to be able to keep up with the conversation topics.

Now, it’s not like you’ll be ostracized for not know your Troilism from your polyamory, swingers are generally a welcoming and helpful bunch. But knowing your way around the basics will allow you to be more active in conversations and, more importantly, know just what you’re getting yourself in for.

Additionally, if you’ve signed up for a swinger hookup site or app, then knowing some of the following terms can make or break you. So, without further ado, let’s get stuck into 20 swinger terminology terms you should know!

20What is a Swinger?

Yep, we’re starting from the basics! If you’re just delving into the swinging scene and curious to know the exact definition of a swinger, then look no further. A swinger is a person who gets sexual satisfaction by swapping their sexual partner with another.

This can either be soft-swapping or full-swapping. Two completely different styles of swinging, which we’ll get to later on in this list. Swingers come from all walks of life and are normal everyday people who just choose to upgrade their sex life for ”The Lifestyle” which is far from boring.

19The Lifestyle

First appearing back in the 1970s, “The Lifestyle” is now used by modern people to replace “swinging”. However, for many people (myself included) this term means more than just an alternative way to describe swinging.

For me, “The Lifestyle” encompasses many things. These can range from sexual positivity, non-judgemental sex, and an overall outlook of sexual open-mindedness. Why? Because this is what I have personally experienced and gained from being active in the swinger community.

18The Difference Between Soft Swinging and Full Swap

One of the most common terms in swinger terminology is that of “soft swap” and “full swap”. Starting with the latter, a Full Swap in swinging is a term used by couples who fully swap sexual partners. Up to and including sexual intercourse.

In contrast, a Soft Swap is used to describe the fun couples have when they exchange sexual partners but not intercourse. Instead, a soft swap often involved oral sex, touching, or voyeurism.

17The Performing Sex for a Live Audience Kink Name is Exhibitionism

Personally, the exhibitionism aspect of swinging is one of my favourite parts. Exhibitionist is a swinging terminology used to describe a swinger or couple who gets sexual pleasure from having sex in full view of others.

Sometimes, an exhibitionist swinging couple may not indulge in sex with other swingers. for them, the pleasure comes from displaying their sex to other swingers who gain equal satisfaction from watching. Speaking of the latter…

16Voyeurism

If you’ve read my story of masturbating to Tracy the hardnipped whore next door, you’ll know I’m equally an exhibitionist as I am a voyeur. Voyeurism is the practice of watching others as they indulge in sex.

Just like the exhibitionists with whom voyeurs exist hand in hand with (not literally), it’s not uncommon for those who indulge in voyeurism to not swing at all. Their sexual pleasure comes simply from observing others engaging in sex. Watching live sex is a lot of fun, I highly reccomend.

15Swinger Site

Whenever you visit a swingers club and starting to mingle, you’ll often be asked something along the lines of “What site are you on?”. This is in reference to one of the various swinging social or hookup websites that exist to find like-minded swingers, events, and swingers clubs.

We’ve covered the range of swinging sites and how they can be used to indulge in various fetishes through some other articles. For example, our guide on how to meet and fuck a British MILF in the UK or our similar guide to big black cock dating.

14Hot Wife

One of my favourite characters in the swinging scenes: the hot wife. Typically, a hot wife is in a cuckold with her partner. She will often arrange casual sex hookups with men other than him. Sometimes the cuck hubby is present, sometimes he isn’t.

But if the cuckold isn’t present, what does he get out of his hot wife being fucked behind closed doors? I hear you ask. Well, allowing his wife to fuck at her own free will with any man of her choice is often the whole turn on. When the cuck isn’t present, the sex sessions will either be photographed or filmed and then shown to the cuck afterwards.

13Bull Meaning Sexually

Typically, the ideal sex partner of a Hot Wife is what is know as a Bull. There’s no bestiality aspects here so relax. Instead, a Bull is a guy who engages in casual sex with a female. By and large, a bull is usually gifted with a well-endowed cock.

The typical meaning of a Bull sexually is a sexually dominant alpha male. He is ideally gifted in the art of cuckolding men through their partners. Sometimes, a Bull will aim to humiliate the cuckold male whilst fucking their wives.

12Swingers Club

A swingers club is exactly what it says on the tin. Located in various countries around the world, a swingers club acts as a safe space for veteran and new swingers alike to indulge in the lifestyle. A good swingers club will often have social areas to mingle and various play areas for the fun stuff.

Some even have built-in spas for swingers to relax. Like anything, their quality and clientele can vary massively. It’s important to do your research on a swingers club when visiting for the first time, to ensure it is the right type of club for you.

11Closed-Door and Same-Room Swinging

Closed-door swinging consists of swinging couples indulging in full swap or soft swap with another swinger or swingers either at a house or a swingers party. However, their sex takes place separately from each other in different rooms.

In contrast, same-room swinging is exactly what it sounds like. This is swinger terminology used to describe couples indulging in full-swap or soft-swap sex in open swingers play area or in the same room.

10A Swinger Name

Of course, it’s natural that the swinging scene places a high emphasis on privacy and anonimity. The Lifestyle is sometimes surrounded by sterotyped and less accepted by the more vailla people in society. So many swingers come up with a nickname or alter ego to conceal their real identity.

Often their alter ego from a swinging site, a swinger name can be anything you like. Many swingers choose one which incorporates their fetish or what they’re known for. ”Squirting Sonia” or “Well Hung Harry” for example.

9Swinger Parties

Needing little introduction, a swinger party is swinger terminology used to descirbe the wide range of gatherings of swingers that occur regularely. These parties can take place at a wide variety of locations and can incorporate a large range of themes.

For example, some of the biggest parties happen at dedicated swingers clubs and are often themed with gangbangs, fancy dress, MILFs, or otherwise. Others take place at people’s private homes and are advertised on various swinger sites.

8Tri – Sexual

Hey, it’s me! I love this term. An upgrade from bi-sexual, this is a term used to describe someone who is down to try everything and anything sexual with all three of the main genders. They’re usually very sexually open-minded and a lot of fun to be around, naturally.

7A Swinging Hall Pass

Another term I love. A hall pass is swinging terminology to describe a member of a swinging couple who has permission to play on their own without their partner present. Basically, image someone walking down the halls of a swingers club at their own free will enjoying as much cock or pussy as possible whilst their partner sips a drink at the bar.

6Troilism

One of the words that took me by surprise when I was a not-so-innocent newbie in the swinging scene is troilism. Basically, this is a posh way to describe a threesome of 3 people relationship of casual sex. If you don’t know what a threesome is then, well, I sincerely need to corrupt you more.

A threesome is basically a form of group sex that incorporates three people. This can be a man with two females, otherwise known as FMF or every mans dream, or it can be a woman with two guys which is abbreviated as MFM. The latter being a great chance to try out some DP sex.

5Double Penetration

So, it’s your first time in a swingers club. You’re being led into a play room by three guys. One is using your mouth as a pussy whilst the other is using the real thing. But, much to your horror, there is one cock being unnatended too. The solution? One cock in the pussy and one in the ass! Otherwise know as double penetration!

Now, you’ll have likely seen DP in various porn scenes and it truly is a great feeling. But if you’re a girl who has never indulged in anal sex before, it’s not a good idea. make sure you’re anally prepared before you go diving into double penetration, it can be intense!

4Bareback Swinging

Bareback is a term used in the swinging lifestyle and beyond to describe the act of peneatrative sex without a condom. However, this is largely frowned upon in swinging circles. And rightly so. Sexual health is an important part of swinging, have fun but keep it safe.

Creampie swingers are often easy to be found on swinger sites and other related hookup sites. But use common sense in such meets, it’s always good to see a negative STD test before engaging in such casual bareback sex.

3Unicorns

Unicorns is a term that made me laugh when I first found out what it meant. This is a term used in the swinging lifestyle, BDSM circles, and beyond, to describe bisexual women. And not just any bisexual women.

Unicorns are a specific type of bi woman. One who is single, horny, and game to join couples for a threesome or group sex and get down and dirty with both the male and the female. Why are they called Unicorns? Because they’re so damn rare! They do certainly exist, however.

2Polyamorous

Sounding like a spell from a Harry Potter book, we’ve covered polyamory before. In simpler and easier to remember swinger terminology, the term polyamorous can be described as an open relationship.

A polyamorous couple will often be of the mindset that rejects the notion that being exclusively sexual and intimate with each other is the key to a long-lasting and healthy relationship. As a result, such couples are often open to the idea of consensually falling in love with a third person in a relationship.

1A Safe Word

A very important aspect of swinging, BDSM, and other sexually liberated lifestyles. A safe word or safe phrase is used in a number of situations. For example, it can be used to stop an intense session when things get a bit too much or somebody oversteps their boundaries.

Additionally, a safe word or safe phrase can also be used between a swinging couple if they are particularly uncomfortable with a certain situation or they are ready to leave the swinging event.


So, there you have it! Your ultimate introduction to the world of swinger terminology. Now of course, there are many others that didn’t make the list. So, if you have any you would like to add then just drop a comment below!

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