Yes, getting fucked hard is pretty damn good, but how many of you crave to get your slit licked from the inside out while your body and mind go on a rollercoaster of orgasms?
I bet the answer is yes for most of you. However, if you said no, then obviously, whoever has been licking you out hasn’t been fit for the job, and you, my lovelies, need a little help.
Don’t worry—I might have exactly what you need! I recently had the pleasure of testing Funzee’s latest innovative oral sex toy to hit the market.
At first, I didn’t think much of it since I’ve been from the lucky gals who have had their pussies eaten out on multiple occasions, so it wasn’t something I was missing.
”My XXX movie of choice? A facesitting compilation that saw a string of oral-hungry whores clamp their cunts down on the willing tongues of bound men eager to service them to orgasm.”
But, as with every sex toy I test out, I keep my mind optimistic and fully embrace the orgasmic ride along the way.
Sadly, there’s often quite a lot of stigma around pussy eating, mainly coming from selfish pricks who refuse to go down on girls but simultaneously have their dicks sucked 24/7.
As a result, some girls can get very self-conscient about how their pussy looks, smells, and tastes and, respectively, miss out on this hell of an orgasmic ride.
So, if you’re one of those girls, you should keep reading this spit-soaked tongue vibrator review and see what you’ve been missing out on.
Table of Contents
Unboxing the Tongued Beast
As usual, Funzee’s heating tongue vibrator came in a carton box wrapped in a brand-name ribbon, along with a charging cable, instructions, and a beautiful satin storage bag.
I like how minimal Funzze keeps their boxes because it keeps you extra excited about unwrapping the box and seeing what’s in it.
As I took it out of the box, I thought it was on the heavier side, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing since my experience has shown that weight means fuck all when it comes to functionality.
The toy is made of super-soft silicone with an extremely realistic texture, which aids the massage of your inner pussy wall by giving you unbeatable stimulation.
The design is sleek as hell, so kudos to its creators. I also loved the pink panther color of the toy, featuring a beautiful rose gold section where the controls are located.
Now, to the most important part, did it live up to what it promised to do and give me “thrilling sensations of hitting toe-curling orgasms”? It’s time to find out!
Putting the Tongue Vibrator in Action
Adult Friend Finder dates in recent weeks have been really off-putting, and after multiple disappointments ending with sexless nights, it was time to take things into my own hands.
I had a real treat-yourself kind of day. I went out, did some shopping, cooked a nice meal, and finished a bottle of wine before I knew it while rewatching episodes of Sex and the City.
Funnily enough, it was an episode based on the stigma of women using sex toys to satisfy themselves since they don’t manage to orgasm from real sex.
I was looking at the toys they thought were “innovative” at that time and was laughing to myself, thinking about the box full of advanced sex toys I had hidden away in my wardrobe.
Not long after, my roommate came back home with a girl he had pulled into the club that night, and the moaning began. You have to love the paper-thin UK walls.
Confession time: I secretly had a little crush on him in the past, but after we started living under the same roof as friends, I was forced to put that in the trash.
However, hearing him giving pleasure to another girl on the other side of the wall made me crave being in her place so badly. I could feel my pussy pulsating from arousal.
I could no longer focus on my episode, so I switched it up with a different kind of movie and brought Funzee’s untouched tongue vibrator out of its delicate satin bag.
My XXX movie of choice? A facesitting compilation that saw a string of oral-hungry whores clamp their cunts down on the willing tongues of bound men eager to service them to orgasm.
I turned it on and played with its modes a little. This beast of a toy has ten different patterns of rotation and vibration, making it perfect for satisfying anyone’s desires.
My masturbation journey began with a mild setting letting my soaked clit get introduced to the soft tongue. Fuck, it felt so realistic. The tongue was twisting and burying itself in my swollen cunt.
I was trying hard to keep my moans down so I didn’t blow my cover. Little by little, I increased the speed and vibration intensity of the toy while shutting my eyes and imagining my roommate’s handsome face between my smooth thighs.
For the first time, I hardly even watched the porn that was playing on my screen, so I shut my laptop and continued fantasizing while hearing him banging that girl as hard as he could.
Part of me wanted to join in the fun but I was just unprepared for the awkwardness that was going to follow if he didn’t reciprocate the crush I had for him.
Thankfully, Funzee’s tongue vibrator was softening my craving by taking my clit on a wild journey of sensations.
Since I was getting close to the culmination of my masturbation session, I switched on the heating feature of the toy so I could test whether it was worth it.
While it took a little time to heat up, when it finally did, my experience became even more realistic than it already was.
My grool-soaked hand was over my mouth, and my clit was just waiting for the command to let itself go by falling into an orgasmic wanderlust.
Even though I didn’t do it on purpose, I ended up cumming right at the moment my roommate came as well. The orgasm was one of these slow-creeping but mind-blowing ones.
To sum it up in a couple of words, yes, a 100% yes, this toy is definitely worth every penny if you really want to feel your pussy get licked out to the point of no return.
What are the Pros and Cons of this Oral Sex Toy?
Like every toy I review, I will review the things I love the most about this tongue vibrator and the things that may need improvement because, after all, nothing is always 100% perfect, right?
Pros:
- Ten frequencies of vibration and rotation
- Comfortable grip that doesn’t make your wrist ache
- Soft and high-quality silicone
- Realistic ribbed texture
- Heating feature to maximize the realistic feeling of the toy
- Beautiful design
- Affordable price
Cons:
- It’s louder than most toys I’ve tried
- On the heavy side, which might be problematic for some
- The heating feature takes a while to fully reach the desired temperature
So, Does This Tongue Sex Toy Go on the List of Sex Toys I Would Recommend?
Overall, I can confidently say that this toy is worth a thousand times its price tag. It’s actually pretty amazing to consider what we can lay our hands on nowadays for the price of a basic meal at a restaurant.
I am so grateful that tongue sex toys have made their way to the market because they’ve been needed. Guys, take note of that and improve your oral skills to ensure you’re not outdone by toys like this!
Luckily, Catherine has penned an elite-tier pussy licking guide for you to study! You can give it a balls-deep read here.
While there are some downsides to the toy, ranging from it taking a while to heat up and the overall weight, it’s one I would still recommend for those looking to replicate a decent cunt-licking session.
So, overall, Funzee once again didn’t fail to give me the shaking orgasm that I needed so badly. So, if you have any doubts about purchasing this toy, all I can say is go for it! You won’t regret it!
