The art of Gooning is elite-tier porn worship. I hate to break it to you, but if you’re worshipping porn Goddesses with nothing more than your palm and some spit, you’re not truly Gooning.
It’s 2022. A vast range of Gooner sex toys is a mere mouse click away. These toys can be used to deepen your connection to porn further and enhance your sexual ecstasy.
The days of mundane masturbation are over. The age of superior porn worship and mind-bending edging sexual exhilaration is upon us. So get yourself ready to become involved!
Today, I will show you how to enjoy the latter to the fullest! I will lead you through a virtual sex shop of Gooner sex toys that every Pornosexual should have in his kit.
Of course, all of these toys cannot be used at once. But instead spread out over one sitting. After all, if you’re not Gooning out for hours, are you really worshipping porn?
From dressing like a porn whore to forming a deep connection to Pornstar cock, prepare to have your Gooner sessions overhauled and experience a whole new realm of edging pleasure!
Table of Contents
Use An O Ring To Build Up Your Layer Porn Slop
One of the most beautiful things about a Gooning session is the amount of Porn Slop (often made up of cum, spit, and lube) that builds up after hours of pumping to smut.
Spitting on your Goon Stick constantly can get tiring. So one way to automate your lubrication and humiliate yourself in the process is with a BDSM O Ring.
An O Ring will keep your mouth open in a circle shape. You’ll find yourself dribbling uncontrollably all over your body and cock as you empty your mind to porn.
This iconic, straightforward accessory will keep your tongue out like an obedient dog panting for porn.
For lovers of the bimbo aesthetic, some open-mouth gags feature a giant pair of pink, welcoming lips so you can look something like the silicone porn bimbos you worship!
You can also buy humiliating O rings with nipple clamps attached for added erotic sensation in your masturbation frenzy. All of them are available in trusted sex shops like JoyLoveDolls.
Build a Collection of Pornstar Relics
Too often, I see examples of Goon Caves that are missing the key ingredient: Pornstar relics! It’s the cherry on the cake of any Gooning session. Plus, they’re not that hard to find!
Imagine, if you will, pumping your Goon Stick silly to the likes of Gianna Michaels. In your hand is one of Gianna’s high heels worn on set.
Marinated with a blend of sweat, cum, and female liquids, being nose deep in pornstar relics will send lightning bolts of pleasure to your engorged member. But it doesn’t have to be heels.
Pornstars regularly sell their used panties, stockings, and other lingerie worn on set. If you can’t find relics worn by your favourite adult models, sites like eBay offer the next best thing.
eBay is awash with used lingerie and shoes sold by the likes of strippers, escorts, and fetishists. It’s a sleazy bazaar of sexual relics to enhance your porn worship!
Tracy’s Dog: One Goonette Toy To Rule Them All?
No guide to Gooning sex toys would be complete without mentioning mind-bending, orgasmic toys for women, would it?
Amongst Goonette circles, there is one sex toy brand that is making serious waves. It’s the curiously named Tracy’s Dog. More specifically, the brand’s OG Pro2 Clitoral Sucking Vibrator.
According to studies, up to 54% of women experience some form of female ejaculation. But in my opinion, Tracy’s Dog is working hard to alter these statistics.
If you can bask in the warm rays of porn whilst this flexible toy hungrily sucks on your clit and rudely tickles your g-spot without erupting in a stream of divine, feminine juices, then your pussy must have a seriously high tolerance!
“This has absolutely changed my mind about sexual pleasure. I’m 36 and have never experienced such an orgasm in my life.”– Cristina Hubb reviewing the OG Pro 2 from Tracy’s Dog
This sleek and well-made clit-sucking beast has become a staple of my toy collection. Discreet, compact, and stylish, it’s one of my go-to sex toys for travelling and always has a space reserved in my suitcase (or handbag).
The OG Pro 2 is perfect for a Goonette session if I’m short on time because it can turn me into a dribbling, squirting mess in the space of sixty seconds.
The Bluetooth remote control that comes with the toy can seriously spice things up as you hand over the power of ten different vibration patterns and your own pleasure to someone else.
“My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared. I never came so fast and so hard in my life. I squirted; I have NEVER DONE THAT.”– An Amazon review for Tracy’s Dog that went viral. You can read the full review here.
And last but not least, despite its orgasmic power, the toy’s vibrations are very quiet. Allowing you to enjoy the sacred sounds of porn combined with squirting pleasure without interruption!
If you decide to invest in one of the orgasmic products from Tracy’s Dog, accept no imitations and only order from their official website.
Whoreuro takes no responsibility for squirt-soaked bedsheets, crippling orgasms, or other forms of debauchery that may result in the use of these toys.
The Closest Thing You Will Ever Get to a Pornstar’s Pussy
Even small things like smelling the physical scent of a pornstar’s pussy make up the holy grail of a Gooner journey. But forget it, it’s not going to happen.
You’ve pledged allegiance to pornosexuality. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have the next best thing: A replica pornstar pussy!
The feeling of burying your dick in the sensual replica of your favourite pornstar’s holes is not only an incredibly intense aspect of a Gooning session. It’s also humiliating!
The Right Thrusting Dildo Will Make You Feel Like a Porn Whore!
If you’re a dedicated Gooner, you’ll have explored the wealth of pleasures that lie deep within your ass.
Real Pornosexuals wouldn’t even consider a porn worship session complete without their anal g spot stimulated.
To mimic the feeling of your favourite slut, I recommend a thrusting dildo. Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like!
These thrusting sex toys replicate the feeling of being penetrated by a hard, throbbing penis.
Many thrusting dildos have a suction cup, so you can attach them behind them and let it automatically plough your ass and ravage your male G spot.
So pick up a thrusting replica of a pornstar cock today; you can buy a huge range here and make yourself moan like the whores you’re worshipping on screen simultaneously.
Upgrade From Your Palm
The human hand has been a loyal masturbatory aid for centuries. But in 2022, it’s time to retire it, especially if you want to truly Goon out to pornography.
I am introducing the brave new world of high-tech male masturbators! There’s an enormous range of male masturbators that Gooners can take advantage of. Here are just a few of my favourites:
- Vedo Hummer 2.0 – Not the cheapest, but you can’t put a price on pleasure, right? This hands-free edging beast Hummer boasts 25 different sucking and fucking styles. Whether you like slow and sensual edging or merciless pumping, this will revolutionize how you masturbate!
- The Dirty Talking Titty Fuck – This lifelike set of porn tits is not only fitted with a welcoming vibrating pussy, but it also speaks to you! And the conversation isn’t about the weather. This awesome sex toy encourages you to fuck her harder and faster. When you do, she moans in sync and screams like a whore. It’s a sensory overload that should be amongst every Gooner’s sex toys!
- Blush X5 Vibrating Ass & Pussy – This incredibly realistic ass and pussy is a great masturbation tool for Gooners. You can slip a vibrating bullet into one of the always-open holes to add orgasmic sensations. Plus, like any true whore ass, it comes with a sleazy whore tattoo!
You can invest in these mind-blowing pleasure inventions at leading sex shops like JLD. Don’t miss out!
From talking titties to futuristic hands-free masturbators, the future of edging your Goon Stick is here.
Use a Dick Gag: Porn Goddesses Don’t Want To Hear You Squealling, Piggy!
I know what Gooners are like when they’re in a pumping frenzy. They quiver like little bitches and squeal like a pig. Don’t be ashamed. It’s just the effect that porn has on you.
But show some damn respect and try to compose yourself when you’re in the presence of virtual porn goddesses. Buy yourself a suitably debauched gag if you’re the type to get loud.
One way to shut your dribble hole and form a closer connection to porn at the same time is with a dildo gag that features a small rubber cock that sits on your tongue for you to suck on.
This way, you can get the same oral sensation as your favourite pornstar on screen while you stop yourself from oinking by sucking on the head of a thick cock and sinking yourself deeper.
Dress For The Occasion
Dropping to your knees before your favourite Porn Goddesses should be an honour, so dress correctly for the occasion!
Any dedicated Gooner will have a dedicated outfit to wear when they pump. I recommend a black pornstar-style bodystocking with which you can collect visible porn slop.
The feeling of erotic lace or fishnets rubbing your skin as you jerk to women dressed the same is incredible.
Dressing like porn sluts in a feeble effort to imitate them is one of the most degrading things you can do to submit to the power of porn.
For some filthy inspiration, don’t miss out on the affordable range of erotic lingerie and bodystockings available at JoyLoveDolls. They’ll have you looking like a porn whore in no time!
Make Your Sordid Soundtrack to a Gooning Session
Aside from the absolute filth that comes out of pornstar’s mouths, one of the most beautiful sounds from pornography is sloppy, wet, deepthroat gagging.
Your porn idols have practically ruined their gag reflexes for viewing pleasure, so return the favour!
Any Goon session worth its salt should have a suction cup dildo within sucking distance. These days, you can buy an enormous range of realistic dildos.
Slamming your throat down on a realistic cock as you gaze into the fuckholes of porn sluts is an incredible way to connect with your favourite smut.
From big black dicks and inflatable dildos to ejaculating rubber cocks and even some with retractable foreskins, don’t miss the massive range of dildos available at this trusted sex shop.
A World of Gooner Sex Toys Is a Mere Click Away!
After reading this guide, I want your future Gooning session to have you dressed like a porn whore with a rubber cock in your throat and your nostrils drenched with the aroma of sex and sleaze.
From wrapping your skin in the caress of slutty fishnets and getting as close to porn pussy as possible to sucking on dick gags, we’ve explored eight must-have Gooner sex toys.
If you’re seeking the best place to buy almost all of the toys featured on this list, I recommend JoyLoveDolls, everything from fetish gags and full-size sex dolls to lingerie and masturbators.
To sum up, treat yourself and show porn the respect it deserves by revolutionizing your masturbation frenzy with the abundance of Gooner sex toys available to the modern Pornosexual.
Need More Gooning Resources? Look No Further!
- The Unique Female Experience of Mutual Masturbating With Gooners
- The Ultimate Guide to Gooning Porn & How to Goon Properly
- The Top Secret Guide to Pornosexual Terminology (Top 10)
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